I got her a Nickelback box set.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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