the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
