rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
