i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
