I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
