I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
