Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We named our party play list daddy issues
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
