I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
