she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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