From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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