If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I want to be your penis for a week.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
