There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
