I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
