help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
