Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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