Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
