It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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