I wanna passion pit in your ass
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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