Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
