We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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