how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
