Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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