Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
