Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
