I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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