i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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