In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
