I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I forget how to act sober
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
