Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
