SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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