I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
