Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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