I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
