Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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