She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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