At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
