Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.

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(520): View more from Arizona

she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.

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(207): View more from Maine

I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with

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