big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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