Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
