I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
this just has baby written all over it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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