I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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