the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
