But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
