we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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