my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
