No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
