I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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