My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
