Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
