Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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