My hand turned me down
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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