Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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