so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The maid of honor just puked.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He shit in the fireplace
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
