We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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