shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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