i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
