so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize