listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
