Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
